Menopause Cake

This blog has been keeping warm in the oven at the back of my mind since our trip home from Riverwood last week, and now I finally have time to take it out of that warm spot to see if it has risen nicely, and firmed up a bit so I can get it out of the pan, and share it with you. I think it's ready.

We have a cell phone that we use when we are travelling, but get very poor reception up north. Each time we drive to a city or town I usually take advantage of the better service there and try to dial our answering machine to check for messages and take care of any calls needing a response. Once we hit the 401 last week, that was the first thing I did. Imagine my surprise when I heard a strange voice on the answering machine saying she was a friend of a friend and was interested in my recipe for Menopause Cake! Our mutual friend had raved about this cake and said I would give her the recipe. Well, I would have been happy to do so, but I had never heard of this cake. Evidently our mutual friend had mixed me up with someone else, but the very idea of a Menopause cake sure gave me a chuckle.

Menopause Cake! Menopause cake? What in the world could it be? Maybe it was an ice cream cake? Hmmm? Could be a winner.

I felt like calling this lady right back and saying, “I don’t have such a recipe, but if you find it and whip it up, just give me the cake pans full of batter. I am sure I could cook them in my bare hands some days!” Yes, hot flashes have paid me many a visit and made life very uncomfortable at times.

Small children have been known to gather round me to sing campfire songs on a cool night. I drew the line at toasting marshmallows though, the messy goo tended to get caught in my hair!

If I lingered too long on street corners during a cold spell, people would draw near and hold out their hands towards me to warm them in the radiating heat. I considered it my community service to go for long slow walks in the cold weather to help ease heating bills in the area. Hmmm, what is the real cause of global warming??? Could it be all the Baby Boom women going through Menopause at the same time? Makes one wonder doesn't it?

Hot Flashes! You just can’t imagine what they are like until you experience them yourself. One minute you are cool and comfortable and the next minute a raging inferno has enveloped you. For instance - I would be in a store trying to talk to a salesperson about something but would have to give up and leave the store because it was too hard to concentrate on what they were saying when sweat was running down my forehead into my eyes and dripping of the end of my nose. If only I had known there was a Menopause Cake that could have helped me. Maybe it was a cake of ice. Well, two actually – one for each armpit!

AC was sitting in the car beside me when I laughed at this phone message and started to ramble on about this mysterious Menopause Cake and how it could have helped me when. He laughed right along with me and said he would like to have a piece of that cake too - if it was warm. Poor guy had been through it all with me, and was very patient and understanding when I was melting, even though he was freezing most of the time.

Many a night I wanted to open the bedroom windows in the middle of winter to let the freezing cold air fill the room while I lay on top of the covers. He was buried under a pile of blankets with his teeth chattering while I tossed and turned beside him trying to get cool. Ah, where was the Menopause Cake when we really needed it?

I remember one spring morning during a particularly hot spell(for me). AC and I were sitting at the breakfast table enjoying a second cup of coffee while we read the morning paper. I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt but AC was dressed in sweat-shirt and track pants. He was settled in at his end of the kitchen table and I at mine, which was right in front of the open window.

AC said it was a cool morning, but I didn’t think so. As usual, I was melting. Sigh! We have a big fan over the kitchen table and as a hot flash swept over me, I reached up to turn it on. I continued to sip my coffee and read the paper while the fan moved the air around over our heads and the cool air drifted in the window. Ah, that was better.

I wasn’t paying any attention to AC or what he was doing. I thought he got up at one point to get more coffee but nothing more than that registered with me because I was engrossed in the article I was reading. After a few minutes I put the paper down to go get more coffee and when I glanced at AC I burst out laughing. There he was sitting across the breakrast table from me wearing his hat and coat!!! A wool Tilley fedora and a black fleecy jacket! Can you just picture it? I was in shorts and t-shirt and he was bundled up for winter. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I felt like I was at a Woolworth’s diner. What a hoot!

He looked up at me in surprise when I started to laugh. “What’s the problem?” he asked incredulously.

“What on earth are you wearing? I blurted out between fits of laughter. “I feel like I am sitting in a diner.” Gasp, chuckle, roar!!!!

He started to laugh too and said, “It’s freezing in here. I don’t have much hair on the top of my head you know, and that fan blowing full blast on my scalp is killing me.” Oh, it was just toooo funny.

He was shivering in his boots, but didn’t say a word to me about the cold air blowing on his head, or the gale force winds coming in the open window. He just quietly got up and put his hat and coat on, returned to the breakfast table and finished reading the paper. It was too funny for words. I am laughing even as I write about it now, many years later.

Thankfully, the hot flashes are almost a thing of the past now, but every once in awhile I am treated to one, just to keep me on my toes, and make me extremely grateful that they only come once in a while instead of every few minutes. I don’t know who is more relieved about that though, me or AC.

Overheard at a medical convention –

Doctor #1 – How is your patient load these days?
Doctor#2 –Just fine, but I am concerned about an overload in one area of my practise.
Doctor #1 – Oh, what’s the problem?
Doctor #2 – Many of my patients are going through menopause and I am overwhelmed with requests for appointments and patient care.
Doctor #1 – Lots of questions about HRT and a search for alternative treatments?
Doctor #2 – No, for husbands suffering from pneumonia!!

Isn’t life grand? I hope your "cake of life" has lots of icing on it and warm or cold, you get to enjoy a corner piece or two.