Sing along with me

I was reading Wash Lady’s blog the other day and at the end of her post I wanted to stand up and cheer! Her words resonated with something deep within me and I heard myself saying Yes! Right on! I love it when that happens, don't you?

I am well past my childbearing years, but I so related to the essence of what Wash Lady was saying in her blog about telling our own truths, and then learning from other women’s stories. Young or old, we have so much to learn from each other. Each of us is the younger women in someone else’s life and the older woman in another's. Older women need to open up and share their life experiences, and younger women need to hear them. Older women have a rich wisdom of experience to share with younger women, and younger women have fresh new ideas and enthusiasm for life, to share with older women. We all need each other!

In every area of our lives, we owe it to ourselves to be educated, know our options and therefore make wise informed decisions. We need to gather and weigh all the data we can, and then act on the knowledge gained; not just do what someone else tells us, we should or shouldn’t do.

Wash Lady talked at length in her blog about birthing and all the choices and options to be informed about during that wonderful time in our lives. Oh how I wish I could have talked to someone like Wash Lady 35 years ago.

I had two normal uncomplicated pregnancies and am very thankful for that. I gave birth in the hospital both times, under the care of an OB. No epidurals or other interventions were used, even though the first delivery was rather long and drawn out. I had no complications and everything was fine, but I wish I had been more informed back then and had known my other options. I still might have chosen the path I did, but I would liked to have been given the choice.

Over the years I have come to realise that my comfort and best interests are not always at the top of the medical profession’s priority list. My first clue about whose comfort and convenience was foremost on the list for my care, should have been the fact that when I was in labour and just about to deliver, I was put flat on my back with legs up in the air, feet in stirrups and then told to push - down. Oh sure!!!!! Whose comfort was a priority here I wonder? Surely not mine. The doctor sat there without having to bend his back at all, while I was pushing down, all the while pointing up to the high heavens! Yes, that should have been my first clue!

That was 32 years ago and it has taken me many years to hearken to that first clue and learn all I can about my own care and stand up for myself and others when dealing with the medical profession. Sigh! Some of us are such slow learners.

Maybe, just maybe my interests and comfort aren’t always first and foremost on the medical profession’s agenda. Maybe, just maybe I should educate myself and be my own best advocate and caregiver. Hmmmm? Sounds like a good plan.

As I said, I am well past my child-bearing years, but I have become very familiar of late, with the Silent Passage called menopause.

For some women the passage is indeed silent and swift with no problems at all. For others, me as a prime example, it is hot and uncomfortable and seems to drag on forever!!!!!

While I was dripping wet and miserable I had friends who were cool as a breeze and skipped along merrily singing the HRT song. It was a number one hit for many years. I am sure you have heard it too. It goes something like this - HRT is an easy wise cure for that horrible disease called menopause. Yes, 15 years ago that tune was top of the charts for women my age.

My doctor just assumed that I wanted to sing along too, and prescribed HRT as a matter of course at the first signs of perimenopause. The medical profession had the attitude that this was not a natural passage of life, but something bad to be dealt with like a sickness. I came home with a prescription in my purse that day, but the still small voice at the core of my being was softly humming another tune. It was very hard to hear her voice above all the other loud voices singing the HRT song though.

During this time I heard a sweet clear melody sung by Janine O’Leary Cobb the founder of an organization called A Friend Indeed. She wrote a book entitled Understanding Menopause and also put out a newsletter addressing women’s health issues. She didn’t tell me what to do, she just sang her song of education, understanding and information. She told me her truth, made me stop and think for myself, gave me solid research to read,then put me in touch with other women who were going through the same thing I was. Women who had the same doubts about HRT and were trying to listen to that still small voice within themselves.

Janine pointed me to studies and reports pro and con on many issues and then let me make my own informed decision. She wasn’t backed by any drug companies, so her material was unbiased and straight up. I found her song a sweet relief in the middle of all the clamour and noise.

Over the years I have learned so much from other women willing to put their stories to the music of the written word and am so thankful that I was able to find a spot for my voice in that choir too. What a joy to sing along with the melody at some points but have the freedom to make harmony in others.

I needed to have all the sheet music clearly in front of me though, so I could see all the notes and make a knowledgeable choice of the best part for me to sing at different times in my life.

So dear blogging friends, learn all the music, and then chose the best part for youself to sing; alto, soprano, descant – whatever. Continue to share your stories and let's make beautiful music together.

You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note.
Doug Floyd