It is very foggy here at the farm this morning and that makes for a snugly wrapped feeling around me today. That is the only way to describe it - snugly wrapped - warm, cozy and safe.
As soon as the coffee dripped into the pot this morning, I took a steaming mug of it over to the kitchen window and sipped the warm creamy brew while I looked out over the land south of the house. Mmmmm, those first few sips of coffee are always the most delicious aren't they?
As I stood there gazing out the window, I was amazed to discover that I couldn’t see anything past Raspberry Hill Gate. The trees rimming Fourpaw Pasture were all dressed in gauzy mist and Elisarben Meadow was covered with a wispy white blanket. It was so beautiful and peaceful and...gentle. Yes, gentle is the word I want. That is how the morning seemed to me. I stood at the window for the longest time, sipping my coffee and feeling that gentle mood seep into my soul as palpably as the coffee seeped into my body.
The beauty of this place feeds my spirit and speaks to me in ways that nothing else can. I absolutely love it here and am never ready to leave no matter how long my stay has been. We have been here a month now, and must go home at the end of the week but I am just not ready to leave. Sigh.
Oh, I do love this old farm. We had such a great time this past weekend with my sister and her husband. Rain threatened most days, but not much fell and we even had some sunshine peek through the clouds from time to time. What an absolute treat this weather is for late October.
My sister and I gabbed the weekend away as we walked along the forest paths, or sat in the cozy old farmhouse with cups of tea, or relaxed on the Friendship Bench down at the swimming hole and drank in the beauty of the pine trees on the far shore of the river, reflected in the still water. We talked to our heart's content and it was rich, rich, rich. We shared the hopes and dreams we have for our kids along with the hopes and dreams we have for ourselves, and voiced to each other the fears we both had when she faced surgery this year.
She was told at the end of June that she might have ovarian cancer, and was sent for tests. The tests came back positive for cancer but she had to wait until September for her surgery to find out for sure. They couldn’t even do a biopsy before then. Goodness that was a long time to wait. What a relief we all felt when we were told after the surgery that it wasn’t cancer even though the pre-surgery tests said it was. Oh, such a dark path that was to walk, for all of us. That dark experience makes this path in the sunshine all the brighter and more wonderful now though. We basked in that sunshine this weekend, and I kept hugging my sister to make sure she was really there and we were celebrating. I was so grateful that she was ok and wasn’t facing chemotherapy and radiation and who knows what else. We walked around with big grins on our faces and enjoyed every minute of our time together. What a gift this weekend visit was! We were lost in the fog of uncertainty and fear for so long this past summer, but emerged into the sunshine of good news this fall and rejoiced in that sunshine during this weekend.
If you are walking through the fog of uncertainty and fear in your life today, I hope you feel the gentle spirit in the middle of it, and find some comfort in that. Be kind and patient with yourself as you wait for the sunshine to break through the mist. It is there, even though you can't see it or feel it right now. Hang on, it will shine again.