We visited with friends the other day and after dinner we sat leisurely in the warm circle of friendship at the dining room table and enjoyed a second glass of wine while talked around the world and back. Don’t you love it when that happens? Thoughts and ideas flowing freely, mixed equally with laughter and deep heart-felt feelings. The conversation went from light topics, like Christmas plans with family to heavier discussions about the pros and cons of assisted suicide. Yes, we were all over the map that night and it made for a wonderful evening. (This was the same evening I made a new fashion statement with silver duck tape! Sheesh!)
Two topics we spent a lot of time discussing around the dinner table and even after in the family room in front of the fireplace, were retirement and a post retirement move. We are already in that glorious land of retirement, but our friends aren’t. The are close to it though and are struggling with all the hard decisions of when and how to do it. We talked with them about the pros and cons of each option they had and then moved onto the biggest question on our plates right now. Should we move or shouldn’t we? If we do move when would be the best time? When we decide the best time, what area of the country do we want to live in? Do we want a smaller house with more land or less land? Do we want city or country? All these questions have been spinning around in my head for a long time, and I still don’t have any answers. We tossed many thoughts and ideas around with our friends after dinner, and had a wonderful time doing so.
Our hostess turned to me at one point in the evening when I seemed to be spinning in even faster circles about this post retirement move and said to me. Don’t try harder to figure this out, try different. I must have had a puzzled look on my face, because she went on to explain. When you get into a situation and don’t seem to be making any progress, don’t try harder, try different.
For example – picture a fly buzzing against a closed windowpane. No matter how long and hard he bangs against the glass, he isn’t going to get through it. His efforts won’t magically change that situation. Who knows, the kitchen door may be wide open and offer him a way out, but until he tries something different he is not going to notice it. So, don’t keep trying harder to bang against this windowpane in your life. Try different. Go in another direction and see what else is out there. Maybe there is a wide open door behind you, allowing exit from this situation and entrance to the fulfillment of a dream.
So, I pass this along to you today to. If you are in a situation that makes you feel like you are banging your head against a pane of glass and getting nothing but a headache. Don’t try harder – try different!